My husband's business travel is hurting his family how can I make it easier on all of us?
Start by sitting him down and laying it out for him:
Your job is to provide for us and my job is to run the household. That means, when you are here, you need to adjust to how this household runs. If you keep wreaking havoc on our lives by being gone all the time and being a tornado when you are home, you will destroy this family.
See what he has to say...
My husband's business travel is hurting his family how can I make it easier on all of us?
First of all have u sat down and talk to him calmy about how u feel he acts when he comes home?Tell him that if this is going to work u need his help too. Then tell him what u need from him when it comes to your running the house.If u do it when your both calm and in a good place it might help. Demanding him to quit really isn't an option and I think u know that. If this is what he did when u met him then u have no grounds to stand on with asking him to quit.You knew what u were getting into. You best bet is to try and work with him. The only way that it will happen is to let him know what u need from him to make things run smoother for u and your children.Good luck hon
Is the money that good to destroy your family as you say. You knew what he did before you got married, why now? At least your man has a job, he has his job and you yours to raise the kids.
By being more understanding, first of all. He is trying to provide for his family and is met with constant criticism and fighting the times he is home.
His first commitment is to his family and if this job is hurting it, he needs to find a new one. It may mean that you need to move to a smaller house or cut back on expenses.
Insist on marriage counseling the next time he's home for a long period of time. You may need to give him an ultimatum and say it's either the job or the family. He can't have his cake and eat it too, and that's what's happening right now. You and your children are being neglected and that's not right. At least think of your kids and how they'll be affected by an absentee father.
In the mean time, stick to your guns about the way the house runs while he's away. If he doesn't want to act like part of the family, he needs to not make demands on it when he is around. If you have to fight about it, you fight about it. But dont' let him dictate what goes on when he's away for most of the time.
Tell him you run the house and you're not changing anything. If he doesn't like it, then quit his job and run the house himself.
The only way to make the transition smoother and not seem overbearring and demanding is for you to run the household in his absence the way that he wants when he is there. May seem unfair, but that is the only way around it...otherwise you'll have a fight on your hands and have to consider divorce and tearing your family apart. What is more important to you...being right or keeping your family together? It is your decision.
sounds like this whim of working for long periods of time is gonna be more expensive in the long run. Sounds like he's got a separation/divorce/child support/possible alimony coming up. Better keep that good job he has....
I see a Good Wife and a Hard Working Man!
When you got married you became his partner. Now He needs you to be a homenmaker with the children. Please support him and let the kids know that their father is at work. There are fathers I know of who would come home after 5pm , knock their shoes off and ask the wife for a cold beer from the fridge! Your Hubby is 1000 times better than the aforementioned.
Explain to him the way the household will work and that he is a good father and that you need his help in understanding how the home will operate. If he was a truck driver than obviously he will be away from home. The job demands it!!
To your kids you have to explain to them the reason why their father is a good man and is away working hard and let them know that there are kids in this world whose fathers are away longer (eg Truck Drivers) and that they are not alone.
If you don't have problems with his providing for the family than I think that you seem to have only one problem and that is the way the household is run. Ask him for help in managment of home (i am repeating)
Yours seem to be a good family and the children deserve to know how hard both of you are working and supporting each other.
I know of millions of women who would rather trade their places with you!!
Don't give up. It would break my heart to find out that this one family split.
u can try sitting him down and telling him how his return changes the routine you have the children in at home. They're kids, so they're gonna be alll DADDY DADDY when he comes home, but the house rules and way things go MUST remain consistent. If you tell him this, in a non argumentative way, he should be receptive. Also explain to him that you fear his constant travel will end up hurting your marriage... communication is SO important especially when you dont see your spouse often, long distance relationship.
You appear to me, from what you're saying here, to be trying already to make things easier for all of you. If you talk to him the next time he is home, and express your concerns and fears in a non blaming shaming way, and he doesnt take heed, or listen then you have a bigger problem.
Getting kids to bed is a tough assignment, unless they're in a routine. If you have the children used to goin to bed at 7pm and then when he comes home that is broken, it will be a problem... not only that but you become the bad mommy and he is the fun daddy. Since he refuses to adjust his work schedule, and you are left to raise your children alone, whatever you set in place really should go. He has to respect that, but you also have to understand that because he doesnt see the kids a lot, when he gets home he wants to be around them and do everything for them. The problem here, again, is poor communication.
Just try talking to him, tell him what you have told us here and remember not to blame or shame. (even though you really might wanna I would.)
