Is this a decent thesis and what is the term for blackberries, laptops and computers?

My essay is on how technology has changed the business world.





Advancements in communication, office technology and the Internet have become necessary tools that have revolutionized the vast world of commerce.|||You need to narrow it down a bit. The word %26quot;vast%26quot; makes your thesis seem endless. Try something shorter like %26quot;Advancements in business technology have become vital to the success of the commerce industry.%26quot;